There’s a scene in one of the final episodes of the IT crowd where Roy says “stuff like this doesn’t happen to normal people”. Staring at the brake lights of the car in front of us as we drove home tonight at 11:15pm with our two babies wide awake, the very statement went through my head.
My sister told me that she had taken her baby to the movies at least ten times, she told me it’s easy, just sit near the exit and if you have to feed her feed her. It’s not easy, I can tell you right now. And as a heads up for anyone thinking of actually doing it in the near future, no matter how close you feed your baby, before the movie starts, make sure you’re wearing easy access clothing. Not like the idiot writing this.
It was hot tonight, so I wore a short dress with a high collar (error 1). And spanks (error 2). We arrived at the preview screening of X-men that my husband has been working on, and everything seemed to be going great. We showed off our beautiful sleeping baby to all of his colleagues and went into the cinema (sitting close to the exit). The owner of Thomas’ company got up to speak, which apparently Mila thought was also an invitation for her to speak/cry. I left, rocking her back and forth in the foyer. It’s not a huge foyer and it was getting awkward between me and the boy working on the door as we fished for conversation starters as I did laps of the barricades. So I thought, I’ll kill time and go to the toilet. Oh wait, I’m wearing a cardigan, over a baby bjorn, over a dress, over spanks. Try navigating that obstacle course with dangling baby legs hanging off the front of you. Not pretty.
Return to foyer, the crying got worse. Maybe she’s hungry? Even though it’d not yet been an hour since her last feed I wanted to get back into that movie and be a proud wife at the end while the credits rolled so I was trying anything. Oh wait, I’m wearing a stupid dress that zips all the way up the back. Disabled toilets here we come. In anticipation for this blog post I wanted to take a photo of all of my clothes as they were strewn across the floor of that public toilet but in my haste to leave the theatre I’d left all my belongings on the seat. The poor boy working there, who was now assembling posters outside the disabled toiletss must’ve assumed I was having stomach trouble by the frequency and duration of my bathroom visits…
She fed for almost twenty minutes. and burped immediately. A miracle. I returned to the movie that was, by now, deep in a very loud fight scene. Brilliant. No one will hear her starting to stir again. Until that fight scene faded to absolute silence. Not my bouncing bundle of joy though. She missed that cue. We left, not half an hour into the movie.
Having already had a babysitter at home, I decided to drop off a birthday present to my friend, that was certainly a pleasant half an hour. End scene and return to the comedy of errors.
I arrived home early, and even though we’d planned to drop the babysitter home when Thomas got home from the movie, I thought, it’ll only take 20minutes, I’ll put Indi in the car with her sister and we’ll go for a drive and get an early night. Easy.
As luck would have it, just as we were driving back though the city just as the movie was finishing, so we picked up Tom on the way home and let his lift off. And the car didn’t start.
Here is a picture of me walking Rundle street at 10:30pm with the pram trying to calm the baby
And the car battery died.
And I’m sure the whole of Adelaide could hear the tantrum in the backseat for Peppa Pig from the 1 year old who had been awake for almost two hours. So much for the twenty minute drive.
And we had to sit on the side of the road in the middle of the city for an hour waiting for the RAA.
And apparently buy a new battery. Which cost $150.
And now we’re home, and it’s 11:50pm and all four of us are awake, two of us are crying, and two of us are sitting on the bed – I can’t think of the right adjective to describe the emotion, but every single parent gets it.